From the things I still remember..

If I could see the light, maybe it all had been esier to understand.
Right now it feels like I'm looking for a way out. With have no idea what comes further along the way or if it's something I even want to know about. It's dark, I can't see anthing and the only thing I can understand is the feeling of knowing that it is something or someone there just waiting for me to find them. I catch myself smiling from time to time, a little bit ironic, for how it could be that I just don't cear even thogh everything feels so unsure. I remember when I used to have it all figured out, I hade an idea how I wanted my life to turn out. Within 6 month from today my life could have looked very diffrent. It makes me happy that after all I've been through, I'm still alive, still breathing and still standing on my two feet. You can push me down, You could say whatever you like, I can push myself down even deeper with my own thoughts. But somehow, I know I'll come out on the other side even stronger like so many times before. What makes me mad is the fact that I don't even know where to start, how to start getting my life back together. Maybe it's just esier to let it all go, move on and let my life get back together by it self and not let myself get in the middle of it? I really don't want to cear, I really just want to lay it all behind me and move on and never look back. But that's esier said then done. I thought that I'd learn the cost of love, paid that price long enough. But still I drive myself right through the pain. It turns out, I haven't learned a thing.